I once had this awesome friend. He was there for me at a time in my life when no one was there for me at all. A time when those that loved me most were supposed to protect me, and did nothing at all. I was all alone and he was the only one there. The only one that cared. Where did that friend go? But then I remember. . .

I could never get my heart to grow for him. Never could I love him as he loved me. He knew that. He knows that. I had forgotten, but once he told me he couldn't be near me because it hurt too much. I forgot about that. I hate that. I hate that we cannot be friends. . .

I feel so sick inside. I feel like I let him down. I failed him. I feel like he's dead and perhaps he is inside. Like me. Why me?

Please forgive me. . .

mood: gloomy

This is my 2008 Numerology Forecast. This time next year I plan to repost this blog and report how close to the truth it was or was not.

You'll get off to a fresh start!
As you kick off a new nine-year cycle, not only will old obstacles vanish, but fabulous new opportunities--whether professional, financial or personal--will seem to fall into your lap. "Choose the ones that appeal to you most, and you're bound to succeed," says Michael McClain, founder of www.astrology-numerology.com.
Success Secret:  Dont be afraid to venture into new areas. You'll never have more followthrough than you do right now!

This came from the Dec. 31, 2007 issue of Woman's World if you'd like to look your own birthday up, or whatever...

location: Work of course... mood: curious music: Chillin' Like a Villian - String Cheese Incident with Keller Williams

My sister gave me an MP3 player for Christmas! I've never had a walkman. I've never had a discman. I've never owned more than 30 tapes/CD's in my life anyway. But now I got this pimp ass laptop (my dad paid for most of it as an early graduation present almost a year ago now) that I "download" all the music I was never allowed to listen to or play in my house, and an MP3 player to put all that bad music on. I have cool shit finally! 

Ha! I just thought of something...

I still don't have reliable transportation though.

Life is funny.

I'm still very happy with my laptop and MP3 player.

I'm such a dork face.

location: Work mood: accomplished music: Whoop That Trick on my cool new MP3 player!!!

So... I was looking up jobs in my field on the internet today and what I found was a little dishearting to my current  job situation. Before I looked at any job openings in my area, I already knew these things:  1. I make about the same at my current job as I did working as crew at Wendy's five years ago; 2. If I were to work full time at Pizza Hut as a server, that would almost double what I make here; 3. They do not pay me enough here--they never have and never will; 4. I have gotten all the "use" and experience that I need from this employment; and 5. Spending any more time here would not only be a waste of my time and my skills, but would only delay me from achieving my goals and bettering my life and myself.

I work (at least a thirty minute drive away from home) for an Association of Realtors(R) as a Temporary Administrative Assistant for $7.50 an hour. As most all Temp. jobs go; I receive no benefits, bonuses, paid holidays, sick days, nor am I eligible for a raise no matter how long I temp. here unless by some act of God I am promoted to a permanent position. I have already worked here 16 days in August; plus five days a week, every week (not including holidays and sick days) since October 1. This particular association must not realize this, but most temps are paid more than fast food servers because they receive no raises or benefits, and they're job IS NOT GUARANTEED. They could be out of a job at any time, because they are just a temp!

FOR EXAMPLE:

Here is a job that I found less than fifteen minutes away from home as an "Substitute Office Worker", which is very similar to a Temp. job and just as unpredictable:

Salary:$8.32or higher DOQ Department: Varies Category:  Work as Required; Substitute to fill in as needed Duties:  Under general supervision performs a variety of clerical duties as assigned by a particular department.  Duties may include, but are not limited to, answering the phone, typing and preparing correspondence and reports, filing, copying, customer service, and data entry. Qualifications: High school graduate or equivalent with 1 to 3 years of clerical experience and demonstrated proficiency in Microsoft Word and Excel; or any equivalent combination of training and experience which provides the required knowledge, skills and abilities. Prior experience working with the public is preferred.

Please excuse me while I fill out the application for this, and then I will continue on my rant....

 

location: Work mood: annoyed music: The Hum of Office Equipment